Think Positive
One of the challenges that children encounter is learning to behave appropriately in the world they live in while trying to make sense of it. Thus discipline should guide children’s behaviour and/or set limits to give them space to explore, but in a socially acceptable manner.
DO
- When an inappropriate behaviors occurs, address the behaviour, not the child. Say “Hitting hurts people. If you are angry with John, please talk to him”, rather than “You are being a bad girl. You know you are not supposed to hit others”.
- Give brief reasons why the behaviour is unacceptable.
- State and model acceptable behaviour
- Offer reasonable choices whenever possible. This shows them that they are respected and empowers them as well.
- Recognise and acknowledge their feelings of anger, confusion or hurt as legitimate. It would benefit the child if labels could be given for these emotions.
DON’T
- Shame or humiliate the child
- Moralise or let your anger come through. You can tell your child you are angry but never react in anger, as this will make the child fearful and anxious
- Use “No” too often. Instead use words like “Stop” or “Please don’t”.
- Use bribes, false threats or false choices.
- Retaliate, that is, to do to the child what he/she did to someone else. Remember that children learn the most from us through modeling and imitating.
It is important that adults convey clear values to children to allow them to grow up being considerate and respecting the feelings of others. Being treated with respect will allow children to learn to respect others and themselves.
Weelai Suwanarat
Associate Program Director
The Odyssey Creative Learning Centre
